Plaza de Armas was decorated in support of Independence Day. Landlord hired a maid to clean our house today and told us that if we wanted to have another party, we would have to pay her S/. 50. Upon asking why, I was told that our house gets too dirty. I explained that we always clean up our mess, and if nothing gets broken, then why should a dirty house affect her? She then clarified that Peruvians clean better and the S/. 50 would be for a maid the day following the party because we do an ‘insufficient job’. This is how I started my 7 am Tuesday morning. 

Sitting here in Peru watching the Olympics in Spanish while eating a nutella and peanut butter banana sandwich. Doing well in life. Sat down with my Spanish couch-surfer as he rattled off over 40 slang words and I rushed to write them down. After learning hundreds of words in slang, I am confident in saying that even if you major in Spanish, you definitely don’t speak the language. 

The most exciting thing that’s happened in the last week or so? Me changing gyms and seeing the new Batman. It’s pretty wild down here in Peru. 

Guy with the dreads is my main man Victor from Madrid, our first couch surfer to stay with us in Peru. Celebrated Peru’s Independence Day in style by only drinking Pisco and Peruvian beer followed by lomo saltado / chaufa for breakfast. I’m just living the dream down here, one day at a time. These past 6 months have flown by. It seems like yesterday that it was pouring rain as I hopped from one sand bag to another trying to avoid the inevitable soaking of my shoes. 

“A moment of troubles for a life without troubles”

At least they acknowledge the fact that tearing up the main street in Arequipa causes a bit of a hassle for traffic.

This is the booth where I get keys made for about 60 cents a piece. If you need something in Peru, there’s always a way to get it. Every week I ask my Peruvian roommate a more ridiculous question about obtaining illegal merchandise. It started with brass knuckles and yesterday it was an automatic machine gun. With every response he says, “Why the hell do you want a machine gun? You’re crazy. But seriously, if you need one I know a place…”

One of the local English institutes were giving these out in preparation for Peru’s Independence Day this Saturday. Although not Peruvian, I couldn’t be more excited. 

Shoutout today goes to Kayla “THE SL” Grantham! Because as she put it, “I constantly stalk you on your blog like a stage 5 clinger, it’s no big deal."  Although due to a certain lack in demographics here in Peru, I’m sure you would still love it. I hope you’re still making fun of people in Cheneytown and talking just as much shit about Cheney as I did. I miss you and you better believe that as soon as I return to the States, it’ll be time for a little DD (Because we’re classy like that). 

P.F.M.

Did a card trick for my 8 year old private student today after which he exclaimed, “You’re magic! Like Harry Potter!” Well I suppose I am Joaquin, thanks for the compliment. 

Traffic’s just a bit backed up due to construction. Taxi’s were charging outrageous rates due to the time spent idling in the pile up. The optimistic me thinks that it will all be over soon, but the experienced and pragmatic me knows better. 

Sunday in Peru

Highlight of my day: Replacing all the lightbulbs in my house so all the lights match and my bathroom doesn’t look like the flourescent one from the original Saw. Made 3 pounds of real mashed potatoes last night and my Peruvian roommate commented saying, “Oh you’re eating real food tonight? No Chinese takeout?” “Well look who’s talking Miguel, ya hypocrite” to which he responded “Toosh”. Shaking my head, I told him it was pronounced, “Touché”. 

Went out for anticuchos for dinner and was faced with a money / health dilemma. Go get 1 anticucho for S/. 14, or head over to the street vendors and get 7 for S/. 2 a piece. Seeing as how I had to work tomorrow, I went for the S/. 14 because although spending all day in the bathroom sounds fun, what’s a couple more soles? 

Me watering the plants and my main man Kelly getting some face time. SoNnNnNn!!

Not sure if it’s an ambulance or a giant cop car.

I’ve been tutoring an 8 year old kid who is obsessed with angry birds. He even drew my pictures and explained in detail how each one worked. After lending him my iPod to play, I was informed that, “You suck at angry birds”. Well thanks for sharing Joaquin, nothing like being put in my place by an 8 year old Columbian kid. 

Something in Arequipa is always under construction. This month, they’re going after the sewer system block by block. My room mate and I came to the conclusion that Peruvians have enough cash to start projects, but will stop half way because it will be another 4 months until they have enough to finish it. Thus leaving the roads half torn up or buildings with half a paint job. Am I surprised? After almost 6 months here: Nope. 

Something I continually laugh at here in Peru are the ATM’s. Whenever I make a withdrawal it asks if I would like to take out “Cash money soles”. You know what ATM, I would love some cash money. 

One of the many fruit stands here in Peru. Among the standard apples and bananas, there are lots other fruits that I’ve never even seen before. To say the least, it’s a bit of a hit or miss buying unknown fruits in terms of “that was delicious” or “why did I buy that?”

Sand art from Arica, Chile

Chile is alright. I personally don’t think that any country needs to have such high denominations of currency (10,000 peso bills), pero cada loco con su tema. Arica has a real nice casino, although they didn’t seem to understand the concept of free drinks when you gamble. Vegas > Arica

Talked to an old Chilean cab driver and told him that we wanted to go to a bar where we could meet girls. Next thing you know he drops us off at a place and as soon as we walk inside girls are touching us, asking our names, the whole nine yards. I look at my buddy and simultaneously we acknowledge the fact that this is too easy. We are in a hooker bar. We quickly finish our beers, slide away from the ladies and leave. I suppose that ‘meet girls’ either got lost in translation, or that’s how old Chilean taxistas roll. 

Got home last night and as I was grabbing a post-work popsicle, this is what I see.

“Jamie! What the hell happened in here?

"Don’t you dare criticize me Degen! I got half of it out, then the corkscrew broke down.”

“Broke down? Jamie it’s not a freaking computer, just admit you’re incapable of using a corkscrew.”

“Well at least give me credit for being resourceful with the knife…”

Ah class..

Me:What's something that would be considered 'not fashionable'?
Student:Fat girls in bikinis
You've got a point there Juan. And on an unrelated note, there is no water today. It's really somewhat of a guessing game between the residents and the city of Arequipa. We, as residents, try to plan when they will shut off the water while they, the city of Arequipa, try their best to keep us on our toes. They blindsided us today, so unfortunately we weren't able to stockpile our water reserves. I'll see you next month Arequipa and you better believe that I'll be ready for you and your conniving ways.

Our house is officially on Couchsurfing; and this is our couch! If anyone is passing through Arequipa, Peru and needs a place to crash, we’ve got a comfy couch and hot water during the afternoons. We all speak English and Spanish, so don’t hesitate to drop us a line and we’ll be more than happy to accommodate you. Truth be told, we’d love some company to break up the monotony of our daily routines. 

Wasn’t too happy that our school switched from an hourly wage to a salary until my 7am class got cancelled. Oh I still get paid the same? Ya know, a salary isn’t so bad after all…

This is the view from my shower. And this is the part where I acknowledge that people probably don’t care.

Asked a student to use “Get over” in a sentence to which she responded, “I got over the fact that my boyfriend had sex with my cousin”. Well done, but perhaps it’s best to keep stuff like that to yourself. Never a dull moment in my classes, that’s for sure. 

Debating about China or South Korea for my next ESL job so I can make some cash for the World Cup in Brasil. Any input would be appreciated. Cheers

This is as big a section as American soda gets here in a Peruvian grocery store. Although another aisle will be completely devoted to every size of Inca Kola as you can imagine. They certainly are proud of that oh-so-delicious-yellow-bubblegum-flavored-fizzy-drink of theirs.

Apparently if you don't vote...

Me:Elections are this summer, but I don't think I'm going to vote
Student:What are you? A Russian spy?
Damn bro, take it easy