Taking a picture of the talent show going on at the school I live next to: Creepy? Yes. But listening to these little girls sing spanish songs and ‘dance’ is the highlight of my morning. 

Who knew the 71 year old owner of my gym was a die hard Mariners fan? I wonder if he gets as frustrated as my WA state friend’s do when the M’s choke… Probably. 

Speaking of which, due to ‘financial restrictions’, my gym owner seems to think he is perfectly capable of welding random pieces of metal together to recreate pictures of machines taken off the internet. Of course, I’m the guinea pig and with a frantic waving of his arms and a complete disregard to my forlorn look, I hop on his “machine” and give it a whirl. Although 1 or 2 have worked, I’m usually diving out of the way of crashing metal as I give him an “I told you so” look. Like a mad scientist, he grabs the parts, hauls them outside, and fires up the torch in an attempt to mimic the “oh so favorable” American weight machines. As I glance outside he turns around and gives me that “I’ll get it this time” look, although I’m sure we both know what we can expect the outcome to be. 

Maca, what keeps me going for those 8 hour Saturday classes

WEEEEW CHELSEA!! After being stuck in class all day, at 4:20 I made a mad dash for the door and into the nearest tienda to catch Drogba sink the last shoot-out goal for the win. My students eagerly accept bets with me because, “You’re American, what do you know about soccer?” But come Monday, I’ll not only get to enjoy my pockets full of soles, but also the look of regret in my students eyes knowing that next time, they’ll think twice about betting on a German team. 

Inca Kola: A principal food group in any Peruvian’s diet

Knife in hand, I gaze upon the 18 ‘paltas’ in front of me wondering yet again how I landed myself in this situation. “Guacamole for 30 people? Ya, no problem!” Ah, my big mouth. At this point in my life, I shouldn’t be surprised, and as I prepare for the task that awaits I can’t help but shake my head and laugh. I quickly sharpen my blade, crank up the reggaeton, and head towards the cutting board like an executioner anxious for work. Long live guacamole. 

Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

15 year old Chinese girl in my class named Yufen goes by the nickname Yu (pronounced ‘you’). Whenever she walks in I yell “YUUUUUU”, which is similar to the oh-so-catchy “Crank That Soulja Boy” song. Needless to say, I taught her the dance and that’s how class starts 2-3 days out of the week. 

This is the same girl who washes dishes for free in her father’s restaurant, to which I printed out American child labor laws and told her to demand a minimum wage. Let the revolution begin. 

Earthquake

The decrease in height struck me as a good foto opportunity. 

Woke up this morning at 5am to my first Peruvian earthquake. My bed started shaking and at first I thought I was dreaming about one of those cheap motel beds that vibrates. Then my cell phone and water fell to the floor and every dog within 10 miles started to bark and howl. The shaking lasted about 40 seconds then abruptly stopped, although the dogs continued for another minute or so. Not a bad way to start my Monday morning.

Started studying vocab for the GRE. Figured I should brush up on my English seeing as how that’s what I teach and I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to get an early start preparing for yet another standardized test. 

Shout-out today goes to Mr. Mark Shearer. I hope podiatry school over in that little town of New York isn’t too agonizing. Also hope you got your package, I’d hate for a 37 cent postcard and $1 bracelet to get lost in the mail. Best of luck my man!

Ahhh, so that's how it works...

So there I was, ignorantly accepting my change from a supermarket without ever questioning if I had received the right change. And then it hit me, Peru doesn’t have any freaking pennies. There doesn’t exist a 1 cent coin. So naturally I wondered where that money was going. I finally asked a cashier today what the deal was. To which she explained that if the price is 4 cents or lower, they round down and 5 or more rounds up. Very clever Peru. 

On a side note I had ceviche today and combined with my day off, today has been the best day all week. 

Local fire station here in Arequipa. I’m feeling safer already.

Arequipeña is the local beer here (see what they did with the name…tricky). 

Feliz Día de la Madre desde Peru! I wish all those moms out there a relaxing and stress-free day as those close to you acknowledge all of your hard work. 

After teaching an English class for 8 hours yesterday, I came to the realization that this is quite ineffective regardless of the fact that it might be the only class that works with some students schedule. Who are they kidding? 8 hours? I think San Pablo University should reevaluate the purpose of their English classes rather than cramming students into an absurdly long Saturday class because it’s convenient. 

Graffiti in Arequipa, Peru. This post goes out to my buddy Marc “The Sandman” Sandoval. Remember, you’re a graphic designer, so stop working at a call center and start a movement towards the abolishment of Comic Sans. 

Another Peruvian protest taken from my classroom. It’s not the protest that is the problem, it’s the cars / taxis blaring their horns trying to pass the protesters who blatantly disregard the fact that sidewalks exist. 

I got lonely since my roommate moved back to the States so I bought a cactus, which also came with some tiny goofy looking plant. I’ve always loved cacti due to my negligent ability to care for plants and watering it every couple weeks or so is all the responsibility I need. 

I’ve been on a pasta binge lately. After finishing classes at 9, all I want to do is eat and crash and having tupperware full of pasta makes for an easy dinner. I miss Park’s grill from college, having the time / ability to cook meat with my schedule can be tricky.

Shout-out today goes to the big Shmelford. I’ll never forget those times in my backyard or our ¾ of a Seahawk game adventure in Seattle. MIss you bud and don’t let anyone beat you at Phigon this year at retreat. 

Classroom Conversations in Peru

Before heading overseas to be an ESL teacher, there are quite a few things that you really can’t prepare for. Like trying to explain the many different definitions of the word ‘swoop’ (excluding the EWU mascot) and why Americans make fun of Canadians. (For the record, 'because Americans make fun of everyone’ seems to be an easy answer). Although I would like to give my students a concise rule for English grammar, “Because that’s the way it is” is a frequent response. For example, after some verbs you have to use the infinitive, no questions asked. Why? Sorry to burst your bubble Jorge, but that’s English for ya. 

After having a lively discussion with a Peruvian student who needed advice on where to travel in the States, we concluded that many popular travel destinations were located around the perimeter of the US; which also included most major cities. Not to mention my personal bias that the Midwest (besides Chicago) is rather boring.

I then asked her, “Where do you want to go?”

With which she replied, “Not New Jersey, I hear it’s really dirty”.

“Well you’ve certainly got a point there”

-Insert clever title here-

5 things I miss from the States:

1. Water Fountains

2. Availability of Mexican food

3. Walk-in coolers with more than 5 different types of beer

4. Driving

5. American sandwiches / Grocery store deli’s

(DRINKABLE WATER IN GENERAL)

5 things I love about Peru:

1. Lomo Saltado con Chaufa

2. 3 bananas cost .37 cents

3. Soccer (on tv, jerseys everywhere, conversation topics, etc.)

4. Peruvian slang

5. The fact that haggling is expected

Peruvian Protest

Big surprise, another protest in Arequipa. They rallied for a good hour before finally marching through the street ignoring the 30 taxi drivers blaring their horns. SEGUE! This all occurred while I was eating lunch which was ‘Ocupa de Pollo". Potato, rice, and baked chicken breast covered in a cream sauce and ají. Nothing like a little protest ambiance while eating lunch. TIP.

Well I guess that’s one way to water the grass. I can only hope to witness it being used to control a riot before I leave.

The picture with the sun was taken on Paseo Mercaderes, a walking only street. Reminds me a lot of Spain with the cobblestone road and big stores on both sides. I had to mingle through the throng of people on my way to Siglo Veinte to barter with the locals about the price of a Van Persie jersey. For S/. 20 it was a steal. 

What's up best friends?!

I could use some Sriracha if anyone out there is feeling amicable. Shipping here is a bit shady, so for a guaranteed arrival, I recommend using UPS/Fed Ex/DHL. Although this shouldn’t be a problem for the majority of my friends, please don’t include anything of value more than $100 or I’ll have to pay taxes. I’m a big fan of post cards too. 

My address is

Degen Hill

220 Calle Misti

Yanahuara, Arequipa, Peru

South America

My student showed me this and I think it’s awesome to share a culture the way that they did

Some grub at the local Menu: Rice, potato, and carne topped off with some spicy ají

Convinced my landlord to hire me instead of a painter and knocked S/. 30 off my rent for 20 minutes of work. Although coming to the S/. 30 agreement took a good 10 minutes of arguing, she finally settled and said I bartered like a Peruvian. I took it as a complement. Since I have a week off and thus no income, it’s time to teach these Peruvians how to play poker. 

I know I already posted a picture of the female looken Che, but there has been an addition. Look out folks! It means ‘Water is worth more than gold’.

This is just a couple bottles of an entire wall devoted to Pisco in the grocery store. Peruvians sure do love their Pisco, but of course if you ask a Chilean, Pisco originated in Chile. It’s a never-ending debate and as an American, I’m happy to stay out of it. 

FInished classes today and will be back on May 7th. Focus right now is of course on configuring the perfect margarita mix for our Cinco de Mayo party. Which, to no surprise, is not celebrated here. In 1 week though, Peru will be faced with sombreros, ponchos, tequila, tacos, and of course, a giant piñata. What better way to celebrate my last Saturday before classes than with a holiday that nobody knows or cares about?