9.02.25: Notification Nightmare

It started with a chirp. Then a buzz. Then an endless wave of pings. I turned off all the apps, but they kept coming. Reminders, alerts, feedback forms. “Don’t forget to hydrate!” “Rate your walk!” “Confirm your compliance.” I stopped opening them. The system responded by increasing urgency. Red icons, blinking lights. Then one day, no signal. Peace. Beautiful silence. Until I stepped outside and the drones were waiting. Apparently, ignoring 97 notifications violates community cohesion. I’m in retraining now. It’s mostly pushups and gratitude journaling. The worst part? They make you rate the program every morning. I give it two stars.