8.23.25: Airport Security

Every time I go through airport security, I feel like I’m auditioning for a role I didn’t want. Shoes off, belt off, laptop out, liquids in a tiny ziplock like I’m prepping for an intergalactic picnic. Then you get barked at by someone who somehow has both zero patience and 300% authority. I always panic that I’ve accidentally smuggled something illegal, like a rare gemstone I didn't know I owned. Then I get through and feel victorious, like I just cleared a level in a game. My reward? Putting my shoes on in a public hallway like a feral raccoon.